


We let it all go (we are lost in the constellations)

by tshjortile



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26355652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tshjortile/pseuds/tshjortile
Summary: Adora returns to the Crystal Castle to train.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora & Light Hope (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12
Collections: "I'll never be afraid of heights (again)"





	We let it all go (we are lost in the constellations)

**Author's Note:**

> This week's prompt on the LIMAMIL Discord server: „I'll never be afraid of heights (again)". The prompt as well as the title of this work are borrowed from Billy Talent.  
> Icetor dared me to write something angsty, and, well, I am never one to put down a challenge. Enjoy!
> 
> This is set somewhere after S1E12: Light Hope and S1E13: Battle of Brightmoon.
> 
> Icetor was so kind to beta this for me. Thank you, dear! <3

Adora panted, glancing around hurriedly. She was backed into a corner, a chasm opening behind her, spiderbots crowding her sight. She jumped and rolled to the left as a particularly nasty spiderbot aimed at her with one of its metallic legs. It collided with the floor of the room with a screech. Adora parried a blow from another spider and managed to slice the legs from a smaller bot that collided with the floor with a heavy thud. The Crystal Castle’s security system had been updated since the last time she had fought it; the spiders were quicker to react, quicker to move, and seemed to never end. Adora shoved one back into another with a grunt and steadied her grip on the sword of protection. A web barely missed her as she took a step forward to swing at another spider that was way too close. All her muscles protested as she moved, swung, and dodged. She parried blow after blow with aching arms, got out of the way using a series of hurried jumps to not be caught by the spider’s silk.

She needed to keep moving, to keep fighting, until-

Adora stilled, if only for a moment, and furrowed her bow. Something about this felt familiar. There was a glitch in one of the spiders, but it was gone too fast. Adora couldn’t be sure it had really been there.

Ablow from behind caught her in the shoulder. Adora stumbled backwards with a scream, off-balance and wary of the gap in her defense. She caught herself quickly, got into something of a fighting stance and squared her aching shoulders. Good, she could still move the shoulder, and the ache was dull and not piercing. She did not have any broken bones. At least, not yet.

She could not go down like this. Brightmoon depended on her. Her friends depended on her. She had to get out in one piece. If she could just create enough space to transform, then-

Adora dodged another attack, grunting from exhaustion. She needed She-Ra, and she needed She-Ra quick, or she would not make it. Adora kept an eye out for an opening, a way to force the spiderbots against each other so she could at least take half a breath in between blows.

She ducked a series of blows and shoved back one of the smaller bots. Finally, she had enough space. Without second thought she raised her sword, leaving her stance wide open. “For the honour of-“

Before she could finish it, one of the webs fired at her caught the sword. The impact practically propelled it from her hand and sent it flying across the mass of spiderbots before disappearing into it with a metallic thud. Her shoulder hurt from the force of the impact alone. Adora bit her lip to muffle her scream to a groan. She was thrown off-balance by another hit, suddenly crowded from all sides. She felt something crack as another bot collided with her side and hoped for it to only be a rib and not her spine as pain seared through her.

Adora groaned and raised her fists into the tight fighting stance she had perfected with Lonnie’s help so long ago it felt like sliding into an old skin.

She stumbled when another bot hit her, trying to evade razor-sharp legs. She took another step back, reaching – nothing. The ground beneath her feet stopped being there, and shit, how did she not see the chasm being so close? She tried to regain balance by using her arms, but that left her wide open for another blow. A spider spit its silk right at her. Adora lost balance. She shoved herself forward with all her might, but the silk hit her hands and immobilized her for too long. The fall was inevitable. She gripped blindly for anything to hold on to.

A crash followed by a battle cry caught the spiderbot’s attention and it turned from her. Adora let out a breath she did not know she had been holding. There was another series of crashes and screeches. The blonde struggled to get a better grip on the loose webs and tried to pull herself up again. Struggling, she found a foothold for her right foot, then another one for her left one. Good. She could do this.

A familiar figure appeared in her line of sight. “Catra!” Adora could not hold back the relief in her voice and, frankly, did not care about it.

Catra stood, seemingly untouched by the spiderbots she had just faced, at the edge of the chasm. She must have gotten the sword and traced its blade with the claw of her index finger, looking down at Adora with a confident smirk. “Hey Adora,” she greeted. “I’m not here for you. I have come for the sword, even though …” She paused and eyed the sword momentarily before turning her eyes back to Adora. “This thing would not work for me if I tried, would it?”

She held out the sword over the edge of the chasm, a smirk curling up her lips that did not reach her eyes. Adora stilled in her movements. Her eyes widened. “Don’t do this! You don’t know how important this is!” She pleaded. Catra did not answer her. Instead, she pensively looked at the sword. “Finding this thing ruined everything”, she said bitterly, ears pinning to her head. Her tail lashed behind her in a way that gave away her suppressed anger. “It’s about time I got rid of it”

With a grunt, she hurled it into the abyss. Adora opened her mouth, but nothing came out but a scream. “Catra!”

The image stilled, if momentarily, giving the simulation away: Catra’s blue eye seemed fractured into bits and bytes for mere seconds. Then, the simulation faded away, leaving Adora in the darkness of the simulation chamber. Adora’s shoulders hunched, she bowed her head in a vain attempt to hide her tears. “Why, Light Hope? Why do I have to go through this again and again?” She sniffled, trying to hold back.

Light Hope’s hologram flickered to life with the sound of glass beads falling onto the marble floors of Brightmoon. The thought of Bow and Glimmer waiting for her to have another sleepover helped Adora catch her breath. It made her feel warm, just like when-

“Adora, you must let go,” the hologram told her, indifferent as always.

Adora sniffed, wiping her face with her torn sleeve. “That is not helpful,” she decided, voice weak. Light Hope stilled for a second. “Shall we talk about your form, then?” Adora nodded grimly. “Please”

“As you wish,” the hologram continued. “You improved performance in combat by 23.4% compared to your first performance.”

* * *

Adora was caught in the spiderbot’s webs and struggled to get her hands free. Her sword was long lost beneath the mass of the Crystal Castle’s security system. The bot raised their claw, possibly to deal the finishing blow, just as Adora finally reached its razor sharp legs and cut herself free. She struggled as she fell, the chasm suddenly opening up beneath her. She screamed and reached out, for something, anything, to hold.

She felt a harsh tug in her shoulders as she caught herself, somehow, holding onto- Adora blinked her eyes open, heart thundering in her throat, to see what she had managed to hold onto. It was the spider silk that had dealt the finishing blow for her to fall over the edge. Adora puffed out the breath she had held. It was not over. Not yet. Adora warily eyed the web that had saved her. She did not know how stable it would be, how much it would hold the strain. In the back of her mind, a plan began to form. She could use the silk to hoist herself up. It was risky, but if she found a good enough foothold in the unstable surface of the chasm it could work.

Adora took another deep breath and started to tap her foot against the wall in search for a foothold. The stone beneath her feet crumbled as she tried to put weight on it. Adora bit her lip to muffle a surprised scream as the web loosened just a bit. She gripped onto it tightly, beat knuckles turning white. Adora felt cold sweat trickle down her neck.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. She did not know how much she could strain the web. You should know better, a voice that sounded a lot like Shadow Weaver taunted in the back of her head. Adora panted, leaned her forehead against the rough texture of the chasm, heart in her throat and blood rushing in her ears.

She had to concentrate all her efforts into pulling herself up, and quick, the strategic part of her mind supplied. Adora took another breath, steeling herself and her aching muscles for the effort it would take. She could not go down like this, defeated by the Crystal Castle’s security system, before even reaching Light Hope –

Adora blinked, startled. The whole situation felt so familiar. She knew how it ended. It always ended with the fall.

Before she could continue her train of thought, a spiderbot appeared at the edge of the chasm. It peered down on her, sparks flying from a destroyed eye panel. Adora furrowed her brow as she watched it approach the ledge where the web had caught. It raised a claw slowly, struggling for balance as she had damaged its other leg during the battle. Adora held her breath, moving slowly, wary of the danger she was in. “Okay Adora,” she encouraged herself, licking her lips. “Hang in there. You can do it.” She reached out with her foot carefully, trying to find a footing. She tried to pull herself upwards, arms straining. Maybe this was certain death, but there was no way she would fail. She simply could not fail. So many people counted on her. Adora grunted as her arms gave out and gasped in fear as the web loosened further. It barely withstood breaking completely. Blood rushed in her ears, her heart fluttered in her chest. She collided with the rough wall with a thud. The collision pushed the air out of her lungs, and Adora heard another crack that was possibly, hopefully, a rib. Her body felt numb for a second, and Adora clenched her fists tight, feeling the strain throughout her body. Everything ached. But she had one more chance before meeting certain death, and if she had it, she had to take it.

There was a battle cry that sounded as strained as she felt, and the spiderbot slowly lost balance. It toppled over the edge of the chasm, merely missing Adora by inches as it fell down into the abyss. The bots gathered along the edge of the chasm turned away from it, towards what was possibly a new opponent, a new enemy to destroy. There was the sound of splintering glass and a familiar hissing followed by a crash. “Catra”, Adora sputtered out breathlessly. She struggled as she attempted to pull herself up again. “You’re here!” Relief washed through her just like the gentle smile that pulled at her lips. “Hey Adora,” Catra smirked. She squatted, half leaning on the sword of protection as she watched Adora with a wary look. She put her hand on the hilt of the sword, tracing the first one’s writing with a claw. Adora gulped. She knew what came next. She had seen it, lived through it numerous times already. “This thing would not work for me if I tried, would it?”

Adora felt her grip loosen. “Catra, please, help me,” she pleaded desperately. But Catra turned away, just like she had before, again and again. Adora’s eyes burned with unshed tears. Her former best friend’s words rang in her ears loud and clear. “You’ve always been the one holding me back. You wanted me to think I needed you, you wanted me to feel weak. Every hero needs a sidekick, right?”

Even though Adora knew it was pointless to react, she could not let that stand. She struggled upwards, using the footholds she had found – she knew were there – to climb up, to reach Catra. “Catra, no, that’s not how it was!” She stretched out a hand, trying to reach her friend as she protested weakly, her heart aching. Not again.

“The sad thing is, I’ve spent all this time hoping you’d come back to the Horde, when really you leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am so much stronger than anyone ever thought. I wonder what I could have been if I had gotten rid of you sooner”

Her dark chuckle echoed through the chasm as Catra slowly cut the webs Adora had been holding on to. She clung to them, eyes burning, as long as she could as she worked herself upwards. “Catra!” Adora struggled upwards, finding foothold after foothold. She found the handhold she knew was there and continued upwards, her panicked heartbeat echoing through her. Adora’s breath hitched in a sob as she reached the edge and hefted herself over it with a sob. The simulation ended with Catra turning her back to everything before fading into nothing but pixels.

“Bye, Adora,” her words echoed through the chamber that had changed back.

Adora slammed her fists into the ground with a frustrated sob. In the darkness that was left after the simulation ending, she cried, painfully, at the thought that Catra had left her, even worse, had left her to die.

Light Hope came to life when she sat up, forcibly wiping her face. “Adora, you must let go,” the hologram uttered as its fingers pixelated against Adora’s shoulder. The blonde shivered at the nonexistent touch and turned away. She hugged her knees to her chest. “I don’t get it, Light Hope. What am I doing wrong?”

“We will go over your errors as per usual, but your strength has increased much in comparison to your last time in this simulation”

Adora shook her head. “That is not what I meant,” she started, but struggled to find the right expression to word the feelings she felt in her chest.

“You must let go,” the hologram repeated. “You will not be harmed if you fall into the chasm, Adora, but it seems like you are … afraid of falling”

“It’s the height”, Adora lied. She thought of the actual moment of clinging to thin webs, afraid of falling to her death. She thought of the desperation when she had realised that Catra had given up on her, that Catra had left her to die, like she meant nothing. That moment, she had just wanted it all to end, like a bad dream. She did not know how to voice the mixed emotions she had, but she knew she could not do it again. It had been so stupid. What if she had really fallen to her death?

Adora wiped her sleeve across her face another time before standing up. “I … I’ll do better next time,” she promised. “I’ll never be afraid of heights again”

**Author's Note:**

> Have a look at the other works of our [SPOP prompt project!](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/promptproject)


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